woke up around 5:30AM because I thought I needed to use the bathroom, came back and fell asleep only to wake up with a pretty strong round of contractions about 20-30min later. I wanted to get up and walk around but my 3yo was sleeping lightly so I had to lie in the darkness and ride them out until she went back to sleep. I eventually got up around 7 I think.
Sean had dozed off on the sofa that night and woke up when I came in the living room. I told him I was pretty sure I was in labor. I was excited but also very nervous as we had found out only the day before that our midwife was uncomfortable working in the state of Oklahoma and had told us she would assist by phone but not be present at the birth. I had felt okay with that until I was actually in labor at which point I was very panicked. I talked it over with Sean and we decided to ask a local midwife if she would like to attend and act as our doula. I went off to take a shower with a lightened state of mind knowing that even if the midwife didn’t want to attend, Sean knew how I felt and would do whatever he could to help. He’s my rock.
I lay down in the shower and let the spray hit my middle. I even managed to doze off between contractions. I’m not sure how long I was in the shower.
When I woke up, I got out of the shower and my mother had arrived. I was still feeling pretty good and social, so I stayed out in the living room with Mom, Sean and kids. I suddenly felt like I was overwhelmed and retreated to the bedroom… where I dozed off in between contractions again. I was feeling a lot of pressure during and felt quite a bit better after a toilet trip. I also took a second shower/bath.
Michele arrived around then and I came and met her after getting out of the tub. Contractions were getting more intense but were still within me, not surrounding me. They slowed down a little and I chatted with Michele. She checked my dilation and pronounced me a ‘tight 8′, which is what Sean and I had estimated by measuring the distance between the breastbone and the top of the uterus. It’s nifty when that works out. My estimate was 6 or 6.5, Sean said 7 to 7.5.
I was needing total and complete concentration during my contractions and I tried various techniques that I had never tried before. I kept my eyes open and found focus points… the best ones were Sean’s eyes or a crucifix. As the pain during each contraction got near unbearable, I offered up my suffering to the Lord in an imitation of Christ. In an ineffable way, it was glorious. Sean was praying with me throughout this time as well, mostly the Hail Mary.
The next hour passed in something of a blur. I had retreated to the bedroom and was dozing between contractions. I had noticed that bearing down a bit helped but I had no overwhelming urge to push. My water broke around that time (the first time my water has ever broken in labor, shocking Sean with the violence of it) and after I asked him if it was clear, which it was, Sean went and got Michele. I asked her to check again and I was pronounced ‘complete with an anterior lip.’ I have this stubborn little bit of cervix that takes its own sweet time to fade away and I knew it wouldn’t be very long until I felt an overwhelming undeniable urge to bear down and push the baby out. That ‘not very long’ was going to be hellish though. I’d say I went through about 3-5 more contractions waiting for the lip to clear and they were by far the worst of the lot. Body-wracking, soul-tearing pain. I was able to sleep between them and Sean was right by me and my rock of strength.
And then, suddenly, no pain. Just a tightening and then WHAM my body was entirely focused on DOWN OUT DOWN OUT! I climbed to my hands and knees and the head crowned and was born in about 5 or 10 seconds (over Michele and Sean’s protests of “Whoa! Slow down! Breathe… oh, there’s the head!”) and then that contraction ended. Here came another, and I expected the baby to just slide right out… nope! Sean and Michele were poking and rubbing and tugging at me (which I indicated was ok, making them laugh) but the shoulders were wedged a bit, past the pubic bone and just inside. I pushed, no luck. Michele told me it would help if I got my hips lower and my shoulders higher, so I did. Sean reminded me that if I could ‘hold the push’ it would work wonders (he told me that with Abby and Bede as well and he was absolutely right.) He guided the cord over the baby’s head and then was able to get a shoulder out :: pop! :: and then the other shoulder :: pop! :: and then in a whoosh the baby was born!
I collapsed on the bed on my stomach and asked if it was a girl or a boy and Sean said “It’s a boy! It’s Gilbert!” Gil was quiet but breathing fine and starting to pink up. He hollered a bit when they rubbed him with a towel and I turned over and sat up to see him.
And he was perfect and beautiful and terrible and awesome and I had done it again… Praise be to God!
(Here’s Sean’s version of the birth, if you are interested.)
